June 19, 2018 • 4 minute read • by Saeed
“Dialogue leads to connection, which leads to trust which leads to engagement.”
~ Seth Godin
Authentic and conscious dialogue is the most powerful tool available to us as leaders. It’s also the most underutilized.
Trust is the cornerstone of all relationships and it tends to grow over time – with mutually beneficial dialogue. Dialogue is the process of fostering ‘power with’ instead of ‘power over.’ That’s why it engenders trust.
Leaders often fall into the trap of believing in their own ‘power.’ Little do they know that their power is limited by their immediate circumstance and is always ephemeral. Even Presidents turn over every 4 years.
Dialogue is an art. In dialogue, we offer our thoughts and feelings as new dimensions of the collective exploration. In dialogue, we place the emphasis on hearing everyone and considering all facets of a problem until the best obtainable truth or solution, agreeable to all present, emerges. Dialogue refers to people exploring meaning together. “Meaning” might refer to ideas, experience, or feelings. In other words, things we talk about in dialogue are not trivial or irrelevant. In dialogue I’m engaging with meaning, not just socializing.
In dialogue, we are mining for shared values, affinities and understandings. This usually involves a more sophisticated process. It involves partnership. Engagement in dialogue requires conscious awareness. Authentic dialogue involves following an unfolding inquiry.
In dialogue, we are practicing co-evolution, co-exploration, co-intelligence.
There are many ways to explore meaning together. And there are many aids to mastering dialogue as a skill. More will probably evolve.
In my experience, the quality of exploration in dialogue depends largely on how open people are willing to be with each other – it depends on how conscious we are. If the dialogue is being facilitated, it also depends on the quality of facilitation. Positive, collective engagement and conscious dialogue is the progenitor to positive change. So what does that look like?
In conscious dialogue, we start from a place of appreciation.
In conscious dialogue, our attention is the currency of exchange.
In conscious dialogue, we use silence as well as words.
In conscious dialogue, we are fully present.
In conscious dialogue, our orientation is towards a solution.
In conscious dialogue, we are active listeners.
In conscious dialogue, we employ, rather than avoid confrontation.
In conscious dialogue, we have no hidden agendas.
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